Arranged Marriage

[playa_chan]

Your views on arranged marriage.
Pro's and Con's

[chrisd69]

im against it. plain and simple. its about letting people choose for themselves though some countries still go by arranging for it

[ljetibo]

^I agree

it looks wrong, and unnatural I mean how would you feel if you where 15 years old and your parents just introduced you to a person you never saw before and say that you will be living with her for all of your life.....
I couldn't imagine what kind of person you have to be to arrange a marriage just for your own sake...to make him richer, or to help him personally in any way

[Madara]

arranged marriage !
wtf...i cant imagine such a pein

[chrisd69]

the only thing about arrange marriages is that its only for the parents personal gain. there is no real love in the relationship... but many countries still choose to do it, i met a girl from india who was in arranged marriage and she never even met the man yet she was going to do it..

[playa_chan]

Yes chris... arranged marriages still happen a lot in india. I lived there for 2 years and I've known many people like that. Most of them seem happy?... but I dont think they are.
It is mostly also about the status of the family... wealth and stuff.

[ljetibo]

yep....but the strange thing is that arranged marriages have a lot less divorces (guess why)....

it's kind of sad, you know, people that are in arranged marriages often don't know that they can chose their own husbands, and lives...they where just raised in that form that they marriage will be arranged and they seem fine with it....

[rjtayler]

I am against it myself. Only as a last resort.

[Pirate]

When arranged marriges were common, it was mostly for the gain of land or money by the parents, but eventually all would end up belonging to the children involved anyway. Only obediant, submissive children usually submitted to this, but when you live in poverty without your parents, its hard to reject their will, especially for girls, who didn't have many ways to support themselves outside of drudgery.

It used to be the general idea that choosing the husband for the daughter was the best way to make sure she wouldn't marry someone who wouldn't take care of her. It didn't always work, but in some families, they were happy. You can grow to love someone. Now that most marriges made by choice fail, you can see that maybe it's not entirely wrong.

Watch the movie "Lady Jane" for example. She was forced by her parents to marry the son of a noble because they wanted her in closer succession to the throne. They didn't like eachother at first, but ended up being very much in love. Their parents gave them the throne and they refused to be puppets. If they'd lived, it would have been the best thing for England, though both were executed by Queen Mary so she could marry the man she loved, who hated her and only wanted to marry himself into England's throne.

Really, having a choice is best, but don't mistake having a choice as making the right choices.

[SchwarZ22]

im against it.......like chis says marriage must be done with two ppl loving each other........

altho there are some successful fix marriage that becomes real love at the middle of their life.....................

[chrisd69]

but that is what confuses me.. yes i know that some times a fixed or arranged marriage can turn into love.. but seriously it just makes me uneasy because in most cases that love doesn't blossom for so many years.

[SchwarZ22]

uh huh..but thats only a few case in arrange marriage tho..... ^_^

[sprogjcrisis]

I live in Saudi and while I'm a westerner and an arranged marriage will never happen...it's kind of sad to see all my friends get very upset when they like someone and can't even go near them. I feel so sorry for them...I'm really against it but I know a lot of people who are happy with their husbands/wives.

[skullreken]

I think it is wrong it's an infraction on basic human rights we have the write to choose who we want to be with. IMO practices such as arranged marriage have no place in modern socioty

[chrisd69]

sprog.. you are 14. im curious as to how many friends you have who are your age who are married over there?

[sprogjcrisis]

Well, I have 5 who have basically been betrothed-they are not saudi. And I know 3 people, two 15, one 16 and they are married-they are saudi. I don't have that much contact with the saudi people-they aren't too fond of us westerners, but the five are egyptian/lebanese/jordanian.

[zoidmagnite]

Wow . . . marriage. I'm going to take the neutral position on this. History has claimed that marriage is a lifetime relationship. There are countless stories about arranged marriages. Romeo and Juliet, King Henry the 8th, Camelot . . . they are nothing new.

Consider this. If we look at the concept of an arranged marriage it is often arranged by the parents of the two to be betrothed. The families are tied together as a result and the hopes of the families lie in the grandchildren that are to be produced. It is often the hopes that this marriage will represent the best of what the combining of the family trees will do, whether that be social, political, or monetary strengths. I'm not saying that this is logical (I'm in the Darwin camp). But due to the nature of arranged marriages, the families interact somewhat closely and these issues are almost always present in one way or the other.

Now let's look at the freedom of choosing one's spouse. This is the preferred method with many modern cultures and societies. In this scenario, it is the choice of the couple to relate and determine if the combining of the families will work. With the freedom of choice, any professional businesswomen would marry a trash collector for his honesty, work ethic, good looks and so on. right? And no one here in the US marries for money right? Why there are no ladies here who would choose a hollywood movie star over a regular Joe? Let's be honest. And guys, we wouldn't consider a hot sexy female over a quiet shy and little bookworm, right?

So, with the freedom of choice regarding the institute of marriage there should be no divorces, cheating, or disputes over money because these things have been carefully chosen by the couple to be married, right?

So . . . why do 6 out of 10 marriages fail in the first five years here in the US?

Not hoping to tick anyone off. I'm just maintaining a true neutral position here.

[gLaciaL_phoenix09]

I think it is wrong it's an infraction on basic human rights we have the write to choose who we want to be with. IMO practices such as arranged marriage have no place in modern socioty


yes your are right in the spot that arranged marriage overstep the boundary of human rights that we have since birth that is.. ^^

[Kirihito]

am i the only one here who has(or almost had) an arranged Marriage?
Some Chinese clans are still too drunk & high to even HAVE Arranged Marriage.
(Note my clan for example)..
Sheesh...gonna make me married at Age 18...what have they been smoking?
Whatever they're taking..they should limit the dosage of it...Why am i gonna do an Arranged sh**?.Why dont they make a brother/sister of mine(instead of being an only son..i dont care if they obey that policy in China)to be the one who'll do it for me.Screw them....
Anyway at tpoic
IT IS SICK..WRONG...USELESS...PLAIN WASTE OF LIFE & TIME.
Forcing others to marry for own sake...not just anybody..ITS YOUR KIDS YOU KNOW..IF YOU REALLY DO DESERVE THEM THEN DONT FORCE THEM TO DO SOMETHING SICK & WRONG..SHEESH...unless the kids wants though in which case its a 0.0000000000001% chance..maybe lower*....
anyway thats it...sorry about my rants...i just HATE them -.-

edit:Edited the one with "*"

[bakaeatscookie]

hate it >> its stupid << wrong >> nasty << AND JUST PLAIN WRONG DX