The Cult of Me - Promoting Selfishness and Rewarding stupidity

[skullreken]

This is a rant about a number of small things ranging from being rude to setting bad examples for your kids, They have have always niggled at me, and while on their own they are give minor annoyance when combined together they can drive even sanest person nuts. All of these things seem to link together into some amorphous thing that hangs over society I've dubbed it the cult of me it just seems to be an attitude of selfishness inconsideration and greed that that many subscribe to, possibly without even knowing because it some how slipped in unnoticed and has become an elephant in the room. I want to vent my feelings about the cult of me and I invite you to debate any of the issues I raise and even challenge my opinions.


The Cult of Me - Promoting Selfishness and Rewarding stupidity

About 8 years ago I entered the workforce to earn spending money for my hobbies, social life and subsequently, my university fees. I had naive high expectations and a positive attitude but now after many years of dealing with rude cunts, ignorant bastards, and whiney emo bitches, I stand here a haggard cynic who highly doubts the existence of the inherent goodness that is supposed to be found in every human being. I think that sometime between the mid 90’s and 00’s manners and consideration suffered a slow and agonising death giving way to the Cult of Me. This is not something that only affects the youth, people of all ages fall into this movement. One of the main characteristics of this phenomenon is an inflated sense of self worth and entitlement e.g. being entitled, for whatever petty reason you can phantom, to treat people who work in public sector jobs as if they are below you. Having been on the receiving end of abuse I make every effort to avoid being sucked into the cult and I’ve made it a point to be polite to people who serve me in shops and to make complaints in a calm, collected and non insulting manner.

Another trend which I link to the cult of me is a lack of responsibility and accountability e.g. failing to accept the consequences of one’s own actions and attempting to pin the blame on everyone else. I don’t know about you, but when I was a child if I hurt myself by doing something stupid or dangerous, first I’d be comforted by my parents before being told that what I did was very silly and I should not do it again, thus gaining a valuable lesson in common sense. Judging by the explosion in the last decade of stupid lawsuits that are brought to court every year, it seems that either not all people were thought this lesson, or the cult has been brainwashing them to believe that it does not apply to them. I refer to the poster boy of stupid lawsuits, Liebeck v McDonalds. I’m sorry but no matter how many justifications I read for the large and undeserved settlement Ms Liebeck got I can’t help but be flabbergasted by the fact that the Judge didn’t just throw the case out after opening statements.

If a member of the staff at McDonalds spills hot coffee on you or you are handed a faulty cup that falls apart resulting in you getting scalded then yes, you are entitled to compensation. If you are stupid enough to balance a fragile paper cup of hot liquid between your legs while attempting to remove the lid on the cup, then my friend you are a fool and deserve any injury you incur. Seriously anyone who’s ever made coffee once before in their life knows boiling water is used to make it, therefore it is hot and therefore it will burn you. Ms Liebeck’s lawyer claimed that the coffee was too hot it should have been 20 degrees less but Ms Liebeck by her own testimony sat and allowed the coffee to soak in for almost 2 minutes before doing something about it even had the coffee been at the lower temperature her lawyer claimed it should have been at, it would have had sufficient exposure time to cause the exact same injuries she received. Despite the ridicule the Liebeck case has received, people still bring forward stupid lawsuits and establishments choose to settle suites rewarding stupidity rather can contesting them.

You might ask me why I am going off on this tangent well it just so happens that a week ago at an eating establishment (I'm trying to avoid landing someone in trouble, you never know who's reading) I witnessed a similar act of stupidity take place and watched as the stupid party blamed the proprietor and proceeded to milk the situation. I don’t know if it resulted in legal action I certainly hope it didn't. The establishment is a circular shaped building it has a central structure that contains the front counter and kitchen and the all the tables and chairs are situated around it. At the back wall is a of the central structure is a cleaning area which has a counter top mounted on it. The counter top is about an inch thick and is mounted so that 2 inches of it is visible from around the corner so people can clearly see that it is there and not walk into it.

On that particular day as I was ordering something at the counter, when the person serving me was confronted by an angry screaming woman with a crying child claiming that he had injured her child. At first I assumed that the child had tripped over a broom handle or slipped on a spill but as I went around to the seats at the back I passed the woman at the scene of the accident with the poor guy who had been serving me. She was pointing at the counter top and began raising hell over the position of the counter top and the fact that the establishment hadn’t been built with the foresight to know that one day over ten years in the future her precious and unsupervised child would come running around the corner not watching where it was going and bump its head. A staff member who knew first aid checked to see was the child concussed and the manger was called over, to receive the same torrent of abuse and bullshit the other staff member had received. As a result, the woman and the rest of her family were promptly given a free meal so she'd be apeased.

Now for many other people including myself, had that happened to us as children, the staff wouldn’t have subjected to blame and abuse and after the tears had stopped we would have been told by our parents that we shouldn’t have been running inside in the first place, you learned that lesson the hard way so be sure not to do it again. Unfortunately it didn’t work out that way, and provided that the child didn’t lose the few brain cells it had to begin with, it has learned to think that “if I do something stupid and get hurt it’s not my fault it’s someone else’s and they have to give me something for it”. Congratulations a new member has been inducted into the cult of me.

[crwallenberg]

A while back I was reading an article in popular science about this "me" phenomenon. We are gen Y, but have also been dubbed the "entitlement" generation or the "me generation." There is quite a bit of literature and research on it pointing the fact that we are the most self centered generation and have an expectation of entitlement. Some people call it a confident generation, but in fact people are just narcissistic and have an undue feeling of being "special." It's one thing to be self confident but that doesn't mean you have a superiority complex. I see this as a huge push towards self confidence and the need for YOU to be happy and YOU this and that, but this push over looks the you in relation to those and the world around you. I can totally understand you annoyance with our generation. They piss me off lol.

My biggest particular annoyance is parents. Their child is special and the world around the should bow down to their child (and only promotes this self centered attitude). And there seems to be this expectation that it is societies responsibility to raise their child. They expect the schools to teach them any and everything, and I've heard teachers complain time and time again how they can't believe the children don't know the basics, which only puts the lessons behind. And such things as safety in the street.. yes you do learn at a certain point in school... but the parent needs to teach before that point and hold their child responsible. I would have gotten my ass beat if the played in the street with no care in the world if there is a car there or not like the kids do in my neighborhood. Or like I see all the time in the parking lot at work. The parents just let their kid go running through it, as if expecting that a driver of course with be looking out for their kid running WTF a driver can't see a 4 year old running out from in between cars. Where is the common sense? Or while in a store, their kid can do what ever the hell they want. There are other people to deal with them right, so who cares? grrr what the hell are you teaching your kids. Just the other day a mom was pushing her toddler in a cart.. the kid was holding a juice drink that I can guarantee the mom would have never let him hold by himself at home. He was spilling it all over, she was well aware, and she just kept pushing the cart letting it drip everywhere. Its the employees job to clean it up right? And the thing that pisses me off the most is when the kid starts crying because they can't get what they want and the parent gets so concerned over the fact that their child is upset and bends over backwards to please them >.> It seems like parents are getting more and more detached from both their children and reality and the kids just keep getting stupider because of it.

The scariest thought is when I think well if only they got a dose of reality and had to work in customer service themselves and experience what people like them are really like, and then have a realization that many do and yet this behavior still doesn't phase them

[Northernian]

In this age, we never teach children to take responsibility in the first place anyway. Once can always cast fire upon another, even tho' the act is done out of stupidity. It does not matter whether one is stupid or selfish. It is capitalism who makes a person selfish and reward his/her stuopidity, It's a version of "get-on-with-it" approach.

Simply to put, those staff working at MacDonalds or elsewhere are paid to clean the crap of customers. Because there is "customer is always right, no matter what" approach. And that is a habitualized, business as usual approach in itself. Basically, one does not need to take responsibility because we pay others to take our responsibility. So capitalism actually eradicates any sort of human goodness, kindness even tho' it is inherent.

Most parents can't do anything about their children. Because they are the ones who are confused in the first place anyway >.> Yeah, life sucks and such. So should we apply a basic "get-on-with-it" or "business-as-usual-approach"? Even a lawsuit itself has become part of these social dogmas. Just stop being immersed in these dogmas, and that will inspire people around you.

Selfishness is necessary...in order to transcend it.

[DemonGod]

Ah yes, not too long back there was an open seminar here guided by some professors who studied just this, it was called the doltification of society (de verhuftering van de samenleving in dutch). sadly enough i didn't attend it but i've picked up enough of it to know it was exactly about this
I too have noticed this happening and most of this comes from experiences my mom has, who works at a daycare and a pre-school playgroup
and indeed, exactly has crwallenberg has said, more and more parents show up who drop their kids there all day and expect them to take total responsibility, not only of their child, but also over it's parenting.
most of the children there.. a lot of the children there are either horribly spoiler brats who do just about anything to get things their way (ranging from faking pain to actually inflicting pain on others) or they are little crybabies.
And if anything goes wrong, if one of the kids does anything that kid isn't supposed to do against other kids, even though it's the parent's job to teach this kids it is wrong. the employees there get the blame, and even worse, the kids get treated for it cause they went through something "bad" because of those employees.
Next to that, the parents come up with these horrible demands from my mom and her colleagues, think about "can you make sure my kid gets to soccer practice in time, idc if you have to let all other kids alone for a while to bring him there" or "I know it's 28 degrees outside and you have a nice cool sandbox and watergames outside, but i don't want my kids clothes to get dirty, so keep him inside" and the worst thing i have yet to hear was "thanks to you my little boys shoes got dirty, i demand you buy me new ones"

These so called parents are increasing in number (judging by the increasing amount of stories my mom gets) and not only that, they're pretty much teaching their kids it's okay to be like this too, because you are so important, better than others. It's just sad that these people are allowed to be parents to start with, cause they clearly do not get the basis of parenthood, bringing up a child in a responsible way, or rather, bringing up a child at all to start with

[skullreken]

I think that people lost the run of themselves, during the boom times new ideas of self worth and entitlement were promoted spreading the message that you should not be treated as a second class citizen I underline you because the message seems to hav ebeen picked up in a singular sense with people thinking "thats right, I should not be treated like a second class citizen and screw everyone else" where the message should have been Nobody should be treated as a second class citizen, therefore more strongly implying that the message is to supposed to apply to everyone and everyone should be treated with the respect and consideration not just you.

[alex1_phang3]

I’ve been pondering for a while for now whether to share these recent encounters with you guys. I’ve finally decided to do so because one is just hilarious, might lighten you up a bit. But the reason behind it is not so pretty.

Okay so this Wednesday I was having dinner in this canteen in the university before I go for my fun fun air rifle practice. When I was queuing up to buy my beverages, I see a commotion stirring up in front of the line. Apparently, a Chinese female international student and her gang of friends (mostly male) was trying to force a refund out of the store manager. The . . . erm . . . less lady-like female was fussing over this slight sour taste she claims she tasted in the baby coconut juice (from a freshly cut open baby coconut) the store sold to her. They made such a huge effort as far as to “ask” all the people next in line to have a taste of the juice to ascertain her claim. While that was happening, she and her gang tried to force a refund again and again, and at the same time telling all the customers to boycott this store . . . well this routine just goes on for a few (less than 5) minutes.

Finally it was my turn, I took a straw, had a sip and guess what, it’s the frigging best baby coconut juice I had ever since I came here =.= She went on with a confident tone and “asked” me to answer, so I said: ”Miss I believe you have not drunk NATURALLY FLAVOURED baby coconut juice before eh?” The store manager giggled . . .

I went on to order my drink, ignoring her and her gang all together, bought my drink and left while they on the other hand . . . well she lost her temper and vowed never to buy from this store ever again then left with a bang. Funny thing was, all the people before me just kept quiet, or just says hmmm (equating to a “no comment”). Even the (no insult intended) westerners international student wouldn’t stand up to these people . . .

Thing is, in China (well actually all around the world) there is this “tradition” where a person with a powerful background can get away with ANYTHING they’ve done . . . 胜者为王，败者为寇 is what they call it, simply means winning is all there is, or winners takes all. So I believe this abuse of power and support (how they got their hands on those we’ll just leave it aside) from all possible sources is what makes this cult possible to grow so fast.

Well all is not bad I guess, because I’ve heard a rather logical reason from one of these people (now a high rank in the student community), said that in order to change people, the very first thing you’ll need is power. So well, they got it but they’ve been abusing it ever since I believe, from the looks of the present condition . . .

So before the second part starts, I’mma tell you straight forward that I have a killing intend coming up every single time I see some couple being all lovey-lovey in the public (in here I also and especially mean in the university I’m in) . . . But I’ve been able to contain it better now these days.

Anyways, the thing goes like this. While I was walking back to my hostel, minding my own business, there was this couple showing up, walking towards me from a distance (cause it’s a long walk-way, and the only safe walkway to my hostel), holding their hands and being all happy and shit . . . and know what? They walk on the sides of the road, with their held hands swinging proudly in the MIDDLE OF THE WALK-WAY which could accommodate 3 people walking side by side.

So as we approach each other, I tried to ask: “ Could you lemmi pass? (NOT in a rude manner, but not like it matter)” and before I can even finish, the guy pushed me aside violently. I fell, hit the metal support thingy that hold the roof of the walk-way. While the walk pass me, I even heard the girl say in a joking manner to the guy "Come on, be nice." . And the reply? "I'm only gonna be nice to you, trash like those don't deserve it (to walk on this place)."

Personally, I believe THIS might be the primary behavior that fueled the cult mentioned. They always have something they can smack in your face so hard to show that they're superior in one/more ways, better than you.

#If anyone have withstood such a big wall of text, I congratulate you.


*and now I'm too lazy to explain the reason behind this one . . not today . . my post has been nulled the third time already =.=
*2 okay, I can't sleep now, not now . . . not now . . . am I hallucinating or a post below me has been deleted?

[author]

has everyone ever read schopenhauers " aphorismen zur lebensweisheit " ,
well IMO, I rather prefer to give a solution than put the same examples and state the same problem over again that you all did.
let's talk about what we can really do instead of demonstrating what really thing is , save your energies on more positive movements ,not in irrational concern.
so I give a tip : it's worth your while reading the book.
hope that helps, will give more once I found more.

[Serpentfury]

While I do agree, this generation is brimming with overconfidence and lack of responsibility and it's the parents that are to blame. I believe it has to do with cultural differences. Many Asian parents are quite old-fashioned and willing to discipline their children if they are out of line. In fact, many Asian kids I see go to summer school or some other education facilities. The kids are taught to be polite and courteous treating their elders from the early age. Look at most white kids nowadays, I believe they are free to do whatever they want. The bottom line is Asian household is usually very conservative. I mean I've never went out of line until I was 20.

[extracheezy]

Very well said skullreken :)
Also srry to hear that Alex
I do believe that narcissism is growing, obviously with all the evidence you see these days, and sadly it will continue to grow, until people start putting more discipline into their lives and their kids, and I do believe the gov has played a big factor in how people act, by giving all these people who cant afford to buy food, this food card or ebt or whatever its called, people dont have to work harder for the things they need, which is less discipline for them, in turn giving their kids less order and making more people lazy and being used to a bad economy, if they were no food cards, then WAY more people would be on the street demanding food and the economy to be fixed, maybe even having riots start, which would mean the people would have discipline, by doing something about their lives cause they would be bums, but the gov can just give everyone food cards for free food, which means that people can still barley afford to pay their bills, and are fine with it since free food is provided, making people have less discipline, therefore not teaching their kids about it either
oh btw I guess im only talkin about the U.S. I dont know what its like in other countrys :/

[sprogjcrisis]

Hmm hmm, well I agree and very well put by all of you! It's the role of a parent to teach his/her child responsibility. But now, society has warped the whole meaning of responsibility. Children don't need to do anything for themselves. From what I've seen in this part of the world, nearly every single child has a nanny/maid. They don't have to cook breakfast for themselves, and don't know how to make a slice of toast, or a cup of tea. They don't clean their rooms as they have someone else to do it, thus they never learn to clean up after themselves as they assume there is always someone to do it for them. They take this attitude to restaurants, where, if they spill their own cup of coffee because they were holding it between their legs, they blame the serving man or lady and cause a complete catastrophe until the person does so. They become arrogant, and begin to think they're the closest thing to God. Resulting in them being disrespectful towards others (such as whoever did that to alex, I mean, who the hell does such things except for a spoilt, arrogant little brat?). This behaviour is but their parents and society's fault. Their parents let them bully their nannys, because they're bullies themselves. In the childs' eyes, their parents are right therefore it is acceptable for them to do exactly as their parents see fit, "Hey, my mommy doesn't do anything when I scream at the maid, so it's ok!"
But it's not, they're people as well, and probably have a lot more manners, and more respect for life than the children do.
Then there's society and cultures that say, it's ok to treat so-and-so bad because of this-and-that. Racism, sexism ect. These things also play a part. Today, many people lack respect for others, and responsibility. They won't take responsibility for their own actions, and will blame others. For them, it is completely acceptable.

About two weeks ago, I was sitting on the back of the bus, and saw one of the little boys (about 7) drawing on the chair. I asked him, "Is that your property?"
Him: No
Me: Then don't draw on it, and clean it up
Him: It's not my job to clean up, it's not my bus
Me: No but you're creating the mess, and you should clean it up.

The child turned to his mother who wasn't giving a care for what he was doing, and whispered some things to her. The next thing I know, I was accussed of bullying him and parenting him when he's not my child.
I told her he was being disrespectful towards someone else's property, but no, I told him to clean it up, and therefore I am in the wrong.
So there, no need to take responsibility, just turn to mommy and she'll handle it for you. Maybe I was wrong in telling him to clean it up, but I think I had a point, it's his mess, he should clean it up. After argueing for most of the way back home, they got off, never having cleaned it up. The poor busdriver came to the back and started cleaning it, and I told him to leave it, I'll do it for him. And I did. It's not his fault, and he shouldn't have to clean it up. I know it may be a silly 'little' thing, but it angered me at how the child didn't have to accept any responsibility and how his mother wasn't even disciplining him. If I had even touched the seats with a pen, my mother would have swatted me.

So thus, indeed the Cult of Me is growing, and I don't believe we can stop it because, who are we to tell others how to parent their own children? Each parent thinks they're right and will never admit they're wrong. The best thing to do, would be to note these things and when we're older and have children, teach them a little about taking their own responsibility. Or, we make it as a part of education, for charity work or volunteer work (such as crwallenberg suggested) and put ourselves and those who are a part of the Cult of Me into their shoes. Maybe it will awaken them to their own actions and make them a little more greatful and appeciative and respectful as to what others do for them.