Destiny: Prologue to Destiny crit

sawreese · 12-07-2008, 07:38 PM

Hello, the story Prologue to Destiny revolves around the lives of a few ordinary, and extraordinary people, fighting to change a world ravaged by the destruction of war. Though the first chapter or so is a little slow, it picks up quickly and becomes pretty entertaining in my opinion. Any questions, crit, or general comments on the story are welcome.

Destiny: Prologue to Destiny

Here is the info I was working on. I know, I have no life....
Descriptions.zip

sawreese · 01-10-2009, 01:05 PM

Here is where I'll put approximate dates for the next Chapters of my story.

Chapter 9 done whoohoo! I'm planning to have 10 up by around the weekend of next week.

Beloved_Goddess · 01-15-2009, 06:55 AM

I read the prologue...it's interesting...i would think people will be all over it since it's action and all.
well my favorite genre is fantasy and romance so i have a really hard time reading anything that has to do with military operations.....i will read more when i have the time^^

keep up the goof work....i like the atmosphere of the story!

sawreese · 01-17-2009, 09:14 PM

Didn't know that. Srry for asking you to read. Don't force urself ^_^

sawreese · 01-21-2009, 10:46 PM

I've finally gotten two comments! One, however was in the middle of my story... No matter though. Just make sure to post comments, questions, and the like here. Even if it's just the common "cool story" phrase. Anythings better than nothing!

Beloved_Goddess · 01-22-2009, 04:38 AM

I just read two...its sad but without enough description of the relationship of the man or how in pain he was at the loose of his wife, the emotion of sadness isn't really that tangible nor is the emotion of his need to avenge her.

but other than that...or that i can't remember, it was good^^
Keep up the good work!^^

sawreese · 01-22-2009, 09:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Beloved_Goddess

I just read two...its sad but without enough description of the relationship of the man or how in pain he was at the loose of his wife, the emotion of sadness isn't really that tangible nor is the emotion of his need to avenge her.

but other than that...or that i can't remember, it was good^^
Keep up the good work!^^

I took your advice and changed it my second time around. New version has more emotion in intro chapter.

sawreese · 04-07-2009, 03:10 AM

u.u life without cake is a life filled with suffering...

12-07-2008, 07:38 PM	#1 (permalink)
sawreese Bélias Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Alpharetta, GA Age: 17 Posts: 201 Rep Power: 40	Destiny: Prologue to Destiny crit Hello, the story Prologue to Destiny revolves around the lives of a few ordinary, and extraordinary people, fighting to change a world ravaged by the destruction of war. Though the first chapter or so is a little slow, it picks up quickly and becomes pretty entertaining in my opinion. Any questions, crit, or general comments on the story are welcome. Destiny: Prologue to Destiny Here is the info I was working on. I know, I have no life.... Descriptions.zip __________________ http://www.animea.net/forums/group.php?groupid=6 http://www.animea.net/forums/f50/des...destiny-29745/ http://www.animea.net/forums/f51/des...ny-crit-29744/ Last edited by sawreese; 04-15-2009 at 09:53 AM.

01-10-2009, 01:05 PM	#2 (permalink)
sawreese Bélias Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Alpharetta, GA Age: 17 Posts: 201 Rep Power: 40	Here is where I'll put approximate dates for the next Chapters of my story. Chapter 9 done whoohoo! I'm planning to have 10 up by around the weekend of next week. __________________ http://www.animea.net/forums/group.php?groupid=6 http://www.animea.net/forums/f50/des...destiny-29745/ http://www.animea.net/forums/f51/des...ny-crit-29744/ Last edited by sawreese; 04-15-2009 at 10:12 AM.

01-15-2009, 06:55 AM	#3 (permalink)
Beloved_Goddess Bélias Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Michigan, USA Posts: 203 Rep Power: 89	I read the prologue...it's interesting...i would think people will be all over it since it's action and all. well my favorite genre is fantasy and romance so i have a really hard time reading anything that has to do with military operations.....i will read more when i have the time^^ keep up the goof work....i like the atmosphere of the story! __________________ Rock That Will Walk....Destroy Whom I Seek...Carnage And Havoc Shall Be Yours To Reap! ~Barbie In The Nutcracker~ *Huggles, Snuggles, Cuddles, Glomps!<3*

01-22-2009, 04:38 AM	#6 (permalink)
Beloved_Goddess Bélias Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Michigan, USA Posts: 203 Rep Power: 89	I just read two...its sad but without enough description of the relationship of the man or how in pain he was at the loose of his wife, the emotion of sadness isn't really that tangible nor is the emotion of his need to avenge her. but other than that...or that i can't remember, it was good^^ Keep up the good work!^^ __________________ Rock That Will Walk....Destroy Whom I Seek...Carnage And Havoc Shall Be Yours To Reap! ~Barbie In The Nutcracker~ *Huggles, Snuggles, Cuddles, Glomps!<3*

04-07-2009, 03:10 AM	#8 (permalink)
sawreese Bélias Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Alpharetta, GA Age: 17 Posts: 201 Rep Power: 40	u.u life without cake is a life filled with suffering... Last edited by sawreese; 05-08-2009 at 01:18 AM.

01-17-2009, 09:14 PM	#4 (permalink)
sawreese Bélias Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Alpharetta, GA Age: 17 Posts: 201 Rep Power: 40	Didn't know that. Srry for asking you to read. Don't force urself ^_^

01-21-2009, 10:46 PM	#5 (permalink)
sawreese Bélias Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: Alpharetta, GA Age: 17 Posts: 201 Rep Power: 40	I've finally gotten two comments! One, however was in the middle of my story... No matter though. Just make sure to post comments, questions, and the like here. Even if it's just the common "cool story" phrase. Anythings better than nothing!

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