Lady of the fog [poem]

[Shino166]

Once there was a lady of the fog
she was ever lonely, never left her hut
watched humans quarrel over simple metal
and awe dumbly at some shiny trinkets

Never did she bother to help a man
neither did she care for kingdoms or thrones
she just observed down from her hut
how all souls are lost in the dark

Lady of the fog, keeping to herself
just playing her part, biding her time
clouding views of greater good
yet letting the shine show through

She's always mystic, fair and delicate
men will fear her while some await her
for she brings life to desolation
and spawns hope in barren lands

Oh lady of the fog, everlasting, ever lonely
will you not teach us all your truths
or maybe show us where the world will end
if we keep on growing, eating and destroying

[Ryoga]

Just 2 typos from what I can see but good nonetheless.:) To me it seems more like a short story then a poem I think it works better that way.:D

[ashanime91]

o_o like this... it's really neat just a few minor problems with grammar -.- who am I to talk about that... but other than that I like it ^^

[Shino166]

I had to type it really fast 'cos it was just flowing into my mind, it was like taking dictation from myself O.O....thank you for reading it, and yes it's like a short story, but I think it's more of a poem

P.S: I'm gonna need some help since I can't seem to see my typos, or any grammar mistakes o.O

[Akatsurugi]

a narrative style of poem....if i may say...
whats it actually about? i understand a little but i thought its better if the poet describe it...dont want to misinterpret~ :D

[Shino166]

mmmm well, it's about how some places are over populated and have little rain fall and high temperatures due to no trees in the area because of mining and lumber industries and also growth of cities, and how the cool fog always comes down from mountains and wets a little the soil allowing for some form of agriculture. It's been like that for ages, but now more and more people depend on that little moisture....

[Ryoga]

I had to type it really fast 'cos it was just flowing into my mind, it was like taking dictation from myself O.O....thank you for reading it, and yes it's like a short story, but I think it's more of a poem

P.S: I'm gonna need some help since I can't seem to see my typos, or any grammar mistakes o.O

You said "form" when the word is supposed to be "from". And when you said "biding" the word is actually "bidding", I hope that helps.:)

[Akatsurugi]

or maybe show us we're the world will end

does the word actually we're or where or were?

[Shino166]

@Ryoga: thanks, corrected the first one but the second one is biding, bidding is to gamble, biding time is to remain in a condition or state ;)
@aka-chan: finally back here, for some reason I didn't see your post last time, yes it's supposed to be where, I think i was thinking of something else when I typed it

[KazemaruShuuya]

it's good~ but the thing is the grammar... Fix it then you'll be perfect!