to me its not and never will be
to me its not and never will be
im asian (Hmong, actually)....and bc i read some of the opinions...i guess i could say something about the asian parents expecting good grades....i guess everyone would think tht its true (and it is, for the most part)
for my parents (especially my mom) they expect good grades. has to be A's or B's. C's are ok but lower than tht is unacceptionable (for most parents of course) but not all parents are like that. some dont care, some just expect for their kid to improve or somewhat learn.
Hopefully its still cool if I just in and state my view on this topic.
I think ideally, parents should try to foster an interest in school in their children, or at least a motivation to do well. If a child wants to do well in school, then they'll probably try their hardest and the parents won't have to do anything to motivate them: no positive or negative reinforcement. It seems evident from the previous posts that no one approves of corporal punishment in response to bad grades. If it did motivate them, it was in a bad way that greatly distanced themselves from their parents. An independent child that who's parents are proud of them is probably a happy child.
Anyway, regarding my own experience, I was largely self motivated. My parents had high expectations for grades, and I always met them. My parents tried to appear pleased at my grades, and I suppose they usually were. I'm very close to my parents, and it seems punishment enough to me to just greatly disappoint them. I feel awful if I do even if there are no other consequences. But that's probably pretty rare, especially between teenagers and their parents. Luckily, I'm no longer a teenager.
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Wow @Chedipe. You chastise others who "can't read your obvious and simple things" yet you basically bite Alex's head off for a joke. /patpat Alex, lol.
My experience with this so called "home punishment policy" and it's effects on my schooling were quite positive, even though I didn't like it at times. My parents were and still are ridiculously strict, and my mother is also Asian. I was grounded for pretty much ALL of my teenage years and I was forced to practice piano for house, study for hours, and neglect certain friendships and activities if they put a strain on my schooling. My parents used to ground me, hit me, and scream a whole bunch at me. To me it's perfectly normal. To others it may be quite extreme, it's nothing I can't handle. However, my parents never hesitated to tell me that they loved me and supported me 100% with my goals and wishes. I knew that they were only considering my best interests, and I wanted to make them very proud.
They made sure my grades were top notch and that I got into the best University for my major. I am grateful to them for keeping my schooling together, and for filling me with a bunch of discipline that benefitted me. I respect the hell out of my parents, and I've never even said "shut up" to them or anything bad... (I'd likely get my ass kicked if I did).
In the future, I probably won't be quite AS strict as my parents, but as long as my children's grades are good... I plan on letting them take part in many extracurricular activities. :) I am the type of person who will most likely help my children with their schoolwork as well (which my parents also did for me). So strict parents aren't all that bad, as long as you do what you should be doing to succeed.
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I am proud of you in a way Yoko.
I am not sure if l would manage to do like you.
if l would be you, l would get rid of my parents in future, and l would manipulate with them.
maybe they did best for you, but l don't consider that as a best. they wanted to control you and they were doing what they think that its best.
I am totally sure l would ruin them if l were you.
l would never let anyone to treat me like that and surely they would pay the price.
Luckly my parents aren't strict, but only reason l am studying is Me actually.
anyway l am sorry but l see your parents as hypocrites , but again they are your parents you cannot hate them.even l have plenty of reasons to hate them, but l don't.
even if l have kids l think l would spoil them :pppppp
thats my nature.. :P
Last edited by Chedipe; 11-24-2011 at 08:51 PM.